Emma is bomb

Emma is BOMB.

:) <3

The sun comes up and now you have a chance again.

Have you ever really missed someone, with every ounce of your being you wanted them here with you? Have you never wanted anything but to know that someone who's gone is proud of you?

Pop-pop, I wanted you to be there with me as I grew up. I want you so badly to be proud of me. I want you to tell me that you're happy with where I'm going. I want to hear your stories, I want to smell that familiar smell, I don't want things to be like they are right now. Once someone dies, that's it. You never have a say in it. That's the most difficult part of it. Knowing that there's someone you love, who you'll never get to see again. They won't be there for some of the biggest moments of your life, no one new will ever get to meet them. That's the worst feeling ever, because you just want them to see you. You want to tell them your stories, and let them know how much they really mean to you. But you can't. 

There's no point to any of it. There's no point to living in fear. There's no point to living in sadness. But sometimes you just can't help it. Sometimes you have to be scared, and sad. Like now. I want to feel scared and sad. I want to miss people. I want nothing more than to see so many people right now. I want to sit and cry while I listen to sad music. Right now Killing Loneliness by HIM is playing. It reminds me of so much. It reminds me of all my emo days. All the hurt.

Sometimes I like to hurt. I like to cry. I like to miss. I like to fear. I like to remember.

Remembering makes me hurt. It makes me cry. It makes me miss. It makes me fear. Sometimes that's what a person needs to refresh themselves and keep going. So much gets held up in a persons heart and mind that it needs to escape every once in a while.

I'm hurting. I'm crying. I'm missing. I'm fearing. I'm remembering all the things that make me who I am. I'm remembering all the people that shaped who I am. I'm gonna list off those people.

Mom, Dad, Shelby, Shaymus, Austin, Liam, Lilly, Pop-pop, Grandma Dot, Molly, Grandma Barbara, Tim, Zoe, Thea, Avery, Telschow, Emma, Deirdre, Shayla, MK, Tessa, Nick, Chloe, Sally, Leo, and there are more people but it's 1am on a school night. I need to sleep.

I feel good.

Ex oh ex oh, <3

Izzy

The lightning hits my chest, but the shock is so routine for me these days.

Yo yo yiggity yo!
I'm in summer school right now. It's insane. I should be doing math work I think, but I gotta ask the teacher how to switch the thing to quarter 4. But he's busy, so here I sit! They've trapped me here until 1:30pm. My schedule is different now. This upsets me very very much.
After this, I get to go to Nick's house and hang out! That'll be really really fun. I miss them peeps.
Okay, I figured out how to do this math shit. I've got it down pretty much, but not totally. That's why I'mma wait to take the quiz. I gotta figure this outtttttttt. I'll ask Austin later. Like, when I get home from Nick's, at 9 or something. We're gonna make a movie soon. >:] It's gonna be amazing. AH-MAZING I TELL YOU.
Hmmm. I haven't really done anything today. SInce they changed my schedule, I have to be here at 10:10am and I leave at 1:30pm. So this morning when they told me (and my friend Tyanna) I had almost 2 hours of free time, and no money or anything. So I sat outside. Then I sat inside. I listened to my iPod and wrote some random stuff and watched people. It's kinda weird, I know, but I like to observe things. People, mostly.
I feel like a freak for that.
I drew all over my hand. It looked really good when I did it yesterday, then I did a new one today and I don't really like it.
God DAMN this school is cold. It's like, a freezer. I can't wear dresses or shorts or anything beacuse it's so cold!!! I gotta og now, though. I'm off to Nick's soon soon soon!!!!!!!!!!!

xooOXOoxOXOOXOO
Love, Izzy

There's a fine line between flying and falling....

So I just got this handy dandy little thing where whenever I put a blog up on here (like I am now) it throws it into a note on Facebok! It's one less copy+paste job for me to do! It's on the Facebook site if you want it or something... just go into the "Notes" application in the sidebar and look around in there for it. Yeah.

So today was my first of 16 days in summer school. I walked in there and felt so... alone. It was weird, everyone around me looked so careless, it was rather strange. Once I got into my class, I saw a shitload of people I knew and was fine. I have 2 classes, and get home by noon, so it's not bad at all. It's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. My algebra class is all online, which makes my life soooo much easier. Maybe I'll get to posting a blog once in a while in there??? Look out for that. My science class is pretty damn boring, but that's alright. I think I'll be okay for 15 more days. Did I mention school is only 4 days a week??? HOORAH! I saw a lot of people today that I hadn't seen in a while. It was nice. It felt like normal school again. I don't know if that's good or what. Maybe it is.

So Zoe is in Sweden seeing all sorts of hot blond skinny jean wearing guys! She's getting me a jar of Swedish dirt! I am so excited!! And a picture of a hot guy. :P Hot guys=ftw!
Let's see... tomorrow I think I'm going to Nick's to hang out and watch some movie he got that's supposedly really really good, but now I'm going to Target, and listening to Cloud Cult. Check dem out.

xoxoXOOXOoxOXoOXoXOooXOoXOOoxo
Love, Izzy

What fuels the magic in the meantime?

There is so much to think about.
So many things. Have you ever noticed that? Even during the summer, there are so many things to think about. It's just that, during the school year I have to think a lot more about... well, school. But now I can think about people, and religion, and LIFE. People think that school prepares you for life. I think that school tries to hold onto our lives for us until they think we're ready. THat's how it makes me feel. I remember one day in Holocaust class, my teacher got mad at this kids, he was sleeping. Just taking a nap, during her boring lecture about Schindler's list. It is so much easier to just watch the movie, instead of telling us the whole movie and then watvhing it. ANYWAYS, that's another blog. So this kid is sleeping, and she's all "Wake up! Stop sleeping through life!" and it got me thinking, "Is this life? THIS is LIFE?!" I feel like I need more out of it. If that is life, well, gosh, why would I even want it? That class is SO damn boring. It makes me want to drop out, which I technically could do, but it would take a buncha legal stuff and stuff. Plus, I need my friends. I need them there with me. I'd die alone. For realz. I love those people.I've been thinking so much lately, learning, more than I've ever learned in school. Every single summer, I get to the point where I regain my love to learn. I LOVE LEARNING. School makes learning boring about 85% of the time. This summer, I've learned direction, how to observe in detail, the effects of caffine on the human body after no sleep, and I've been learning about people. I am learning. This blog is actually serious? It's INSANE!
Anyways.I
'm gonna go play Wii.
Byebye!